For a long time I’ve intended to write a blog of some description. Lots of different ideas of what it could look like have came & went. Each time a few common theme’s dismantled the idea…. Firstly what on earth would I say that anyone would want to read ? Would I actually write in it more than once ? Am I actually interesting enough ? Am I intelligent enough? Am I prepared to be vulnerable to those who personally know me, I mean blogging is about revealing part of what makes me, me (what of those I care about read this stuff and decide they don’t like me!)
In my head I’am already constructing future posts to cover some of the thoughts I’ve just mentioned, especially that last one.
Even with all that in mind here I am writing my first blog post, why ? Well theres A number of reasons really… My friends have really encouraged me through their belief in who I am. A reluctance to continue going through life only remembering and chronicling some details. Encounter this year which I know will completely change my life and finally my friends writing their own blogs and doing such a wonderful job with them.
(Sorry for the lists so far !)
My friends blogs are stunningly beautiful, honest and intelligent, which to me was a great excuse NOT to write my own ! With theirs processing so many great qualities I didn’t want to write mine and it not be perfect….. Which brings us to the wristband.
Allow me to introduce you to the star of this post, my Encounter More wristband. I’ve very proudly wore this since the Encounter More conference at CCV at the end of May. I wear it because I want to remember the conference and the incredible revelations I had at it
Though at first, I hated the thing ! I wanted to bin it sooooo much !! Why ? Because of a mark on the E of ‘more’.
The wristband isn’t perfect, it’s marked, it’s damaged.
You see I’m someone who likes perfection, come out with me to take photos and you’ll see that. I take 5 photos of the same thing just to be sure I’ve got it right, I can wait agessss at tourist attractions waiting for the perfect shot, free from congestion, The smallest imperfection bothers me.
I am (and can still be) the same in general life, I used to plan events with detail NATO would be proud of, to ensure everyone had the ‘perfect’ time & afterwards I would analyse my own actions to make sure I was the ‘perfect’ person to be around (already I’m worried I’m revealing too much of myself here)
With all this in mind hopefully you can see why this wristband annoyed me ! However I still wore it proudly because it still symbolised something important, even with its imperfections.
That’s why I wanted to write my first post about it, because in a simplified way, it completely represents me.
I’m imperfect for any number of reasons, thankfully !!!!!
I’m about to start a year of my life where I’m going to unconditionally allow God to work in me, to change me & mould me ! If I didn’t realise I’m imperfect I wouldn’t be open and allow God to do that and the potential he has placed in me would remain buried in my self-delusion ! I’m so excited for how God will use this year, I’m so excited to spend time with friends who’ve became more than people I want to watch a movie with ! I want to do life with these guys 🙂
I’m so exited to be imperfect but to be a symbol of God’s love to my community, just like my wristband is to me.
So there, my first ever blog post ! Thanks so much for reading it. I’ve sat and written it from a riverside terrace pub in Cranton Place Ottawa, with a beer that is desperately trying to be Guinness (& failing) with the Two Door Cinema Club playing in the background (Sun – the song if your wondering) overlooking the 100+ year old town hall on a beautiful warm evening and the thought in my head right now…. Man I need the toilet !!!! & To think I was worried about not sounding intelligent !
Paul 🙂