I’ll get straight into it, this is the first time I’ve felt myself again after what has been an unexpectedly tough fortnight.
Nothing major happened instead I got knocked by a series of smaller things and I’ll be honest and say I felt heavily depressed and was finding it hard to keep myself going. I had been holding myself together and was fighting as hard as I could to lift myself out of it without telling anyone what was going on when a God conversation broke me.
The conversation was discussing the protection of God in our lives and sharing how God has protected people and promises to protect us. In that moment, I had what seemed like a fleeting thought… ‘God, where was my protection the night of my car crash?’ I instantly dismissed the thought and continued the conversation.
As the night continued I simply couldn’t shake the question and to be honest I was in such a place that I couldn’t even bring myself to ask God himself. Instead I slammed the self-destruct button and decided to isolate myself. I expected to shake the feeling with a night’s sleep but didn’t, instead I stumbled my way through the next few days breaking down every so often and trying not to speak to anyone.
Eventually it came time to go to my counselling course, I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to do less than continue my studies into how to be a counsellor. However, I believe it is where God is calling me and I want to use my ability to see the best in everyone to help people so begrudgingly I went.
That afternoon we broke up into groups of three to practice our skills, part of the training is where you need to be counselled on a real-life issue. I had finally come to a place where I wanted help with my question so decided to share the story of the fortnight and question of where God was.
After sharing my fellow trainee counsellor asked ‘What did you want to happen to the person who crashed into you?’ I said that I never wanted him to be heavily punished, he had made a mistake however we all do. His was very serious but he deserved to have the best called out in him.
After that I was asked ‘Why do you want to counsel?’ I answered as I said above, I want to use God’s gift of calling out the gold in others to help people.
My counsellor looked at me and said ‘Sounds like God really protected you that night.’
Curious I pointed out the pain I was in and the life changing injuries I got from my crash.
Smiling she stated that God had protected my ability to see the gold in people. That lying in hospital after the accident I could have chosen hatred for the driver and wanted him brought to heavy justice but I never felt like that. I had and still do have forgiveness in my heart towards him.
Her comment got me thinking about our idea of where God is during times of trial and crisis, we call out to God and wonder where he is in the tough times.
He promises to be there for us and to be our protection however when things go wrong we struggle to see him moving, to see him place his hands around us.
What I have come to realise is that God is protecting us in those moments but not in the way we can often see at the time.
I believe that God protected the thing in me that he needs for me to unlock my kingdom destiny. I believe that I am meant to be a counsellor and advance God’s kingdom by helping people see the gold and the greatness in their lives.
I could have chosen to lose my ability to see the best in people the night I was hit by a drunk driver who fled the scene of the accident. I really believe that no one would’ve blamed me if I had.
However, God moved to protect that ability within me. Truth is I can counsel people just as well with a bad leg and hip as I could with full mobility. I couldn’t do that if I wasn’t able to see the very best in everyone I meet.
My thought to you is, in the tough times what is God protecting in you? It may not be obvious but believe me that he is protecting something in you that he needs to partner with to unlock your destiny.
When the tough times come ask him to reveal how he is working, it may surprise you and help unlock the keys to your God given future.
If this is something which has really hit home for you and you would like to chat please do get in touch. P